Scandalous
by The Pale Red Queen
Summary: "But Tessa knew this was wrong. This time she couldn't help it. This time, she had let her walls down."


**A/N: Hey everyone! So I know that I really should be working on 'Looking Back' but I couldn't help but write this one-shot. It came to me literally in a dream last night, believe it or not yes it was a dream. Call me obsessed. Anyways, it has been haunting me the whole day so I just had to write something. So without further adeiu, here it is! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination and my dreams :)**

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><p><strong>Scandalous<strong>

"James, may I speak to you?" Charlotte's voice emerged from the drawing room, as Jem was passing by.

"Of course, Charlotte," Jem stepped into the room. The fire was lit up in the hearth, casting a warm glow on the walls and heating up the room from the crisp autumn weather outside. The curtains were closed, blocking out any excess moonlight from streaming in. Charlotte was sitting across from Jem at her wooden desk, pen in hand and a frown forming at her lips. She seemed to be looking down at a piece of paper in dismay.

Jem strode across the room, stopping in front of her desk. Charlotte looked up, worry painting her face. "What is it?" Jem asked.

"There was an explosion reported this afternoon in East Finchley. Some members of the Enclave have already searched it, but not thoroughly enough. There was enough evidence left behind, based on the gears and cogs, to say that without a doubt this is Mortmain's work. The Clave has just contacted me and wants the members of this Institute to begin a thorough investigation. I have already asked Henry and Gideon. Would you care to join?"

Charlotte's eyes held so much truth, so much anxiety that it was difficult for Jem to say no. "Anything to stop Mortmain," said Jem, "what about Will?" he added.

"I have decided it's best that Will stays behind," explained Charlotte. Jem was appalled; he was usually accustomed to carrying out investigations with his _parabatai_. By the look on Jem's face, Charlotte continued, "we need a trained Shadowhunter to stand guard just in case Mortmain decides to attack again."

"We have Cecily," interjected Jem.

"Cecily will also be joining us, since she is both you and Gideon's trainee. This may give her a chance to use her skills. Anyways, we leave tomorrow morning. You understand, don't you Jem?"

Jem nodded.

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><p>Will had just come back from his daily midnight stroll. He trudged along the corridors, tracking mud as he went along, eventually reaching his bedroom. Will swung himself onto his bed, taking off his boots. Earlier, Will would do this in order to avoid his 'curse.' Now it was because of Tessa. His Tessa. Tessa. Tessa. Tessa. The Tessa he could no longer have. The Tessa who was engaged to a man that just happened to be his best friend and <em>parabatai<em>. There was a light knock on the door, breaking off Will's train of thought.

"Come in," said Will. The door opened, revealing Jem, his silver features painted by the witchlight, making him appear paler than usual. Will half expected Jem to talk about Tessa, but by the worried expression on his face, Will dropped the thought. "What is it Jem?"

"Mortmain's been at it again," said Jem somberly, "there was an explosion down in East Finchley this afternoon, and no doubt it was Mortmain who was behind it. Charlotte wants Henry, Gideon, Cecily, and I to go along with her to investigate."

"What about me?" inquired Will.

"You are to stay behind." Will opened his mouth in protest, but Jem beat him to it, "Charlotte wants someone to stay behind to guard the Institute."

"But Cecily is going. Why can't she stay behind?" Will felt slightly hurt for not being chosen. He was a much more skilled Shadowhunter than his sister.

"Charlotte wants Cecily to actually put her Shadowhunting skills to the test. Besides, you are a much more experienced fighter and would be better off than her protecting the Institute."

Will reluctantly nodded. "How about Tessa? She surely would want to tag along." Just saying her name made his heart painfully drop.

"She will be staying behind too. Best not that she finds out about this until after we leave, which Charlotte wants to do by early morning. She would want to come along," said Jem, simply, "you promise to keep her safe?"

Will silently nodded and dropped his head down; Jem took it at his cue to leave. Will couldn't help but think about spending a full day alone with Tessa. They hadn't had much interaction since the drawing room, an occasional polite nod or greeting here and then. Will was definitely not looking forward to tomorrow.

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><p>By the time Tessa awoke the next morning, daylight was flooding the room, blinding her eyes. She stretched her arms and yawned, while pulling herself out of bed. The door opened and Sophie came filing into the room.<p>

"It's about time you woke up, miss," said Sophie as she began to prepare the bath, "Your breakfast is beginning to get cold."

"Oh my," Tessa said, while clumsily getting out of her bed. Sophie came scurrying over, helping Tessa out of her nightgown. Tessa stepped behind the Japanese screen and into the bathtub. She hurriedly scrubbed herself with the lavender soap. As she got out, Sophie came over and dressed Tessa in a simple periwinkle dress and petticoat. Tessa put her necklace with the jade pendant that necklace on, as well as her clockwork angel, the ticking noise against her chest comforting her. Tessa left Sophie behind in her room, as she headed down the hallway towards the dining room.

She was taken by surprise to see that no one was there, except for Will. Maybe everyone else had already eaten? But that didn't seem possible; she surely would have bumped into someone in the corridor. She made her way into the room and sat down, not too far away from Will, but not too close either. He looked up at her, his midnight eyes no longer guarded as they were when she first had met him. This was the new Will.

"Ah, so the sleeping beauty finally arrives?" Will smirked.

Tessa ignored this, "where is everyone?" she asked.

"They're gone." Will simply stated. Tessa's curious gray eyes widened, "as in," continued Will, "they are currently down at East Finchley to investigate an explosion that is linked to Mortmain. Jem and the others didn't want to tell you because they knew your stubbornness would persist and you would force yourself to tag along. So, they left you here. But never fear! William Herondale is here to make sure you're safe!" He grinned at this.

"More like you're too annoying that they didn't want you to go with them," Tessa said monotonously, clearly not interested in carrying on the subject.

"Actually, it was more that they needed someone to guard the Institute. So they had to choose the handsomest most skilled Shadowhunter to do so." Tessa turned away from him, not wanting to be fooled by his charms. She began to dig into her eggs, which had gone cold as Sophie told her earlier.

"Anyways," said Will, clearly not taking the hint, "I have some errands to run. Care to join? I shouldn't be asking you that. You will be coming along."

"You can't force me William. Besides, doesn't the Institute need you to guard. Or is everyone here tired that you have to leave?"

Will's face turned serious, "it'll be quick. And, I don't want to leave you alone. I promised Jem that I would keep you safe."

_So he was doing this for Jem_, Tessa thought, with a tinge of disappointment. She went back to her breakfast and finished it in silence.

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><p>Will was already waiting for Tessa at the steps of the Institute, as Cyril pulled up the carriage. Charlotte and the others had to take a different carriage in order to fit all the other members in. The soft autumn breeze flew through the air, ruffling Will's hair. It was late August, and the leaves were just beginning to change color into a vibrant red. The sun was shining bright, and for a change London was warm that Tessa could feel sweat creeping down her back. The carriage stopped in front of them, as Will extended a hand to help Tessa in. His hand burned into hers through the soft, kid leather gloves he wore. She hastily pulled back as she seated herself inside. Will got in after her, swinging the door closed, sitting across from her. He pulled away the curtains as the carriage lurched and set down the cobblestone path. Will was utterly quiet as they went along.<p>

"Will, what errands do you have to do?" Tessa asked, looking up at him.

"You'll see," said Will, amusement glinting in his sapphire eyes. Tessa tore her gaze away from him and towards the window. They passed through homes and different neighborhoods. There were many children out and about, playing in the sun. She remembered the days when she and Nate used to do the same when they lived in New York. Her hand instinctively flew to her mother's clockwork angel. She missed those times when she lived with Aunt Harriet and Nate, oblivious to the Shadow World. But now that she has been introduced to it, she had to be a part of it.

"Tessa," Will said, ever so gently, breaking her out of her reverie, "might I ask you something?"

"What is it Will?" she was surprised by the softness in her own voice.

"If," he said hesitantly, as though doubting himself for what he was about to say, "if I were to propose to you instead of Jem, would you have said yes?"

"I – I don't know," Tessa was taken by surprise. Of all questions to ask, Will had to bring up this one. Her heart ached just thinking about it. She could have said yes, but where would that leave Jem? She remembered that day a month ago, how Will had looked at her with a shining expression as though she was everything to him. She thought of how she informed Will of her engagement, and how heartbroken he was. He had pushed her away on the roof, but this time around it was her pushing him away. She glanced down at her hand, where she had brought the burning poker to it. There was a faint scar left behind; luckily it wasn't too bad, since Sophie's salve helped heal most of it. Jem had asked her about it, but she brushed away his concern. She hoped that Will wouldn't see it. He also followed her gaze and looked at her with full concern wiped over his visage.

"Tessa, your hand," Will reached out and took her injured hand in his. Tessa could feel a blush creeping up her face. This is madness – she should not be doing this with any man except for her fiancé. And worse, it had to be Jem's best friend, his _parabatai_. _I love Jem. I love him and always will. I can never love Will_. Tessa chided to herself.

"It's nothing," she hastily drew her hand away.

"Tess," Will said, concern enveloping his voice. Saying her nickname didn't make things better; she flushed an even deeper shade of scarlet, "something happened. Tell me – "

Will was cut short as the carriage abruptly stopped. "We're here," Cyril said cheerily, opening the door. Will regained his composure and stepped out, followed by Tessa. She hoped that he would drop the subject regarding her scarred hand.

"This is the London Library," announced Will, oblivious to their prior conversation in the carriage. They were standing in front of a marble structure, with hints of Greek architecture. Tessa stared up, marveling at its beauty. Will hurried up the steps, Tessa following close behind. "I've been wanting to take you here for a while. I was just waiting for the opportune moment. I didn't really have errands to do. Anyways, this is where I check out books that the Institute doesn't have, such as _The Wide__, Wide World_. Remember you recommended that to me?" Tessa nodded; how could she forget that? "Prepared to be amazed Tessa." Will opened the door and Tessa's jaw dropped.

Standing before them was clearly a library. But this one was much more grander than the one in the Institute. It was at least ten times bigger and the walls were lined with books. There were shelves covering nearly every square inch of the flooring, and that not with shelves had either a walkway or tables, where people were engrossed in books. "Come this way," said Will as he descended up a set of stairs, Tessa right behind him. They arrived at the second level. "There'll be more books here that you would enjoy," said Will as he slipped into the shadows.

Tessa shrugged and perused through the books. There were familiar titles, such as _Pride and Prejudice_, _Les Misérables_, _Armadale_, and _Little Women_. "Oh!" Tessa let an exclamation of surprise slip through her lips. Her hands greedily pulled the book out of the shelf. Her fingers trailed the gold title engraved on the cover: _A Tale of Two Cities_. She slipped it under her arm as she looked through the other books. She reached the poetry section and flipped through familiar poets; Tennyson, Rossetti, and Browning. She pulled out a book of William Blake's collection and scanned through it. She rested on one of them, 'The Chimney Sweeper', and silently read it to herself. As she reached the final verse, she closed her eyes to recite the familiar lines in her mind:

_And so Tom awoke; and we rose in the dark,  
>And got with our bags and our brushes to work.<br>Though the morning was cold, Tom was happy and warm;  
>So if all do their duty they need not fear harm.<em>

A voice spoke those words ever so quietly that she would have sworn that it was a figment of her imagination. She turned around to see Will looking at the book, a wistful expression on his face.

"Blake," said Will, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, "one of my favorites."

Tessa nodded, "mine too," was all she managed to choke out.

"We sure seem to share an odd affinity for poetry, don't we Miss Gray?" Will's eyes were blazing. Tessa smiled, as Will went on, "Oh and I see you decided to check out our dear friend Dickens. I should have known," his smile turned into a grin, which she returned, but as soon as she did, she regretted it. She should not be like this around Will. This was Will, Will the boy who shared the same liking towards books as her. She had made no other such connection with anyone else besides Will. But now, men, except Jem, meant nothing to her. She slammed the books down onto a nearby table and headed towards the stairs. She ran down them, lifting her skirts as she made her way towards to door. Cyril was already waiting by the carriage, and when seeing Tessa, sat at the reigns of the carriage. She could hear Will shouting her name as she approached the carriage. Tessa opened the door and filed behind. She quickly looked to her side to see Will settling himself as far away from her as possible, a hurt expression on his face.

They rode back in silence, all the way back to the Institute. Tessa yanked the door open and jumped out of the carriage. She ran into the Institute, bolted up the stairs, and then hurried down the corridor towards her room. She stole a glance behind and saw Will following her. When she reached her room, she slammed the door and locked it. She let out a contained sob out, but then chastised herself for crying. She hated crying. But Tessa knew this was wrong. This time she couldn't help it. This time, she had let her walls down.

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><p><strong>AN: So there you have it! I didn't expect this to be so long though... it sure felt shorter in my dreams. Anyways, credits go to Pyreflies Painter for introducing me to 'The Chimney Sweeper' by William Blake. I would like to say thank you and that I just had to add it in! I can totally see Tessa and Will as fans of his poetry. Anyways, don't forget to review! And I promise that I will have the next addition to 'Looking Back' by the middle of the week!**

**Until next time!**

**~ShadowhuntingNephilim123**


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